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THURSDAY’S THOUGHTS: Observation & Awareness

by Sarah on July 26th, 2012

This week I’ve been trying my best to place my awareness on observing myself. All this means is that I’m standing back,watching my actions and listening to my words and thoughts.  I literally imagine my thoughts coming from the back of my head and not from the analytical front. From this place in my mind I don’t judge. I purely become more aware of myself, my true self. I definitely am not managing to observe myself permanently. It’s easy for my thoughts to get pulled back to the front of my mind, and for me to go back to functioning from the super busy, analytical part of my brain, but then I catch myself, I observe what I was thinking about, and then step back again.

Someone gave me some great advice about picturing myself as lying in a hammock in the very back of my head. Or just sitting resting against the back wall of my skull. And then from here, I look out through my eye holes at the front.

This may all sound a little strange, but if you give it a try, I’m pretty sure that you’ll find it incredibly calming and useful. I think so many of us, particularly women and particularly busy moms, have minds that are in overdrive. We’re trying to think and do a million things at once. What this means is that we’re often not aware of our exact actions (“Where did I put those keys?”), or of our words, thoughts, or even bigger than that, our feelings behind them all.

What I’m learning is that if I can become aware of how I’m feeling, it’ll help me to understand why I’m behaving a certain way, and then change my pattern of behaviour if I choose to. If I’m constantly rushing about, with a stream of anxious, judgemental or analytical thoughts, I’m not really giving myself a chance to make the changes.

I guess all of this is linked to meditation and mindfulness. It’s about living from a place which is calmer, quieter and filled with more true joy. Perhaps you’re a little like me in the sense that we like to think that everything is ok, we like to put on a smile and show the world that everything is great, but that deep deep down there are certain things about ourselves which we don’t really want to acknowledge. And it’s through observation and awareness, that I hope to truly figure out what these dark things are, possibly understand where they came from, and then release (or accept them) once and for all.

PS. Thanks to Flickr and Florin Gorgan for the beautiful image.